stoop Posts

Over on my design blog, a post about trying to get a refund from Yahoo Music. It's buyer beware in the online world where even finding a customer service phone number is a victory. I'm surprised that a division of Yahoo would stoop to such customer-unfriendly tactics. Unmentioned on the blog: that 4yo Theo spent the hour I was on the phone quietly playing in his room where unbeknownst to me he had smuggled bathtime paint and was squirting it over run, clothes, bed and himself in re-enactment of Thomas the Tank Engine crashes.

A few decades ago a little boy named Linus van Pelt sat in a pumpkin patch waiting in vain for the return of the Great Pumpkin (gotta love Wikipedia). Nowadays he might as well sit on his front stoop waiting for the trick-or-treaters. With the two hour "official" time almost at an end we've had only one lonely costumer come to our door. We ourselves went up and down the street (the last showing of the butterfly outfits) but only one in three houses opened their doors. Curiously, the most Halloween-decorated houses on the street were empty. Only one house with kids opened the door--it was grandma, who said her daughter had taken the granddaughter across town to a busy trick-or-treat street.

I used to live on Windsor Avenue, one of West Philly's best trick-or-treat streets, a magnet that drew ghosts, goblins and ballerinas from across that part of the city. It was a lot of fun. Over the years I developed a routine where I'd play a helpless victim on a spider web stretched with string across the back of the porch. I'd moan, "candy candy, give me some candy so I can go free." Eventually some brave little kid would inch up and give me candy, whereupon I'd scream "I'm free, now I can steal your candy, hahaha!" Little kid screams raised in alarm as I lunged at them. I often kept the candy and once counted over thirty pieces in my pockets by night's end! That was a lot of showings for the "candy!" routine, at at least one family of Ethiopian kids would yell out "Candy Man!! Candy Man!!" year-round whenever they'd see me.

When I moved to Jersey I decided I wanted to make this my home and that one way I'd do this is by celebrating Halloween here. A few of the people on my current, way-too-quiet street told me that this street used to be busy on Halloween night and I've heard enough anecdotal stories to think this is just how Halloween has evolved over the last few decades: carnivalesque magnet streets surrounded by miles of dark porch lights. It's kind of a shame, as this is really the only night of the year where I have a good reason to go up to my neighbor's doors and chat a few moments with them. Trick-or-treating is such an iconic small town American tradition and it's death is just another indicator of the way in which geographic locality has been replaced, for better or worse.

Robin M's recent post on a Convergent Friends definition has garnered a number of fascinating commenters. The latest comes from Scott Savage, a well-known Conservative Friend (author of "A Plain Live," publisher of the defunct "Plain Magazine" and lightening rod for a recent culture war skirmish over homosexuality at Ohio State University). Savage's comment on Robin's blog follows what we could call the "Cranky Conservative" template: gratuitous swipes at Conservatives in Iowa and North Carolina, wholesale dismissal of other Friends, multiple affirmations of Christ, digs at the issue of homosexuality, a recitation of past failures of cross-branch communication, then a shrug that seems to ask why he should stoop to our level for dialogue.

Snore.

What makes my sleepy response especially strange is that except for the homosexuality issue (yay for FLGBTQC!) I'm pretty close to Scott's positions. I worry about the liberalization of Conservative Friends, I get cranky about Christian Friends who deny Christ in public, and I think a lot of Friends are missing the boat on some core essentials. When I open my copy of Ohio's 1968 discipline and read its statement of faith (oops, sorry, "Introduction") I nod my head. As far as I'm aware I'm in unity with all of Ohio Conservative's principles of faith and practice and if I signed up for their distance membership I certainly wouldn't be the most liberal member of the yearly meeting.

I'm actually not sure about Scott's yearly meeting membership, I'm simply answering his question of why he and the other Conservatives who hold a strong concern for "the hedge" (a separation of Conservative Friends from other branches) might want to think about Convergence. Of all the remaining Conservative bodies, the hedge is arguably strongest in Ohio Yearly Meeting and while parts of this apply to Conservatives elsewhere--Iowa, North Carolina and individuals embedded in non-Conservative yearly meetings--the snares and opportunies are different for them than they are for Ohioans.

Why Ohio Conservative should engage with Convergence:

If you have all the answers and don't mind keeping them hidden under the nearest bushel then Convergence means nothing.

But if you're interested in following Jesus and being a fisher of men and women by sharing the good news... Well, then it's useful to learn that there's a growing movement of Friends from outside Conservative circles (however defined) who are sensing there's something missing and looking to traditional Quakerism for answers.

Ohio Conservatives have answers and this Convergence movement is providing a fresh opportunity to share them with the apostate Friends and with Christians in other denominations seeking out a more authentic relationship with Christ. Engaging with Convergence doesn't mean Ohio Friends have to change anything of their faith or practice and it needn't be about "dialogue": simply sharing the truth as you understand it is ministry.

Yes, there are snares involved in any true gospel ministry; striking the right balance is always difficult. As the carpenter said, narrow is the way which leadeth unto life. We are beset on all sides by roadblocks that threaten to lead us away from Christ's leadership. Ohio Friends will need to be on guard that ministers don't succumb to the temptation to water down their theology for any fleeting popularity. This is a real danger and it frequently occurs but while I could tell eight years of great insider stories from the halls of Philadelphia, is that what we're here to do?

Let me put my cards on the table: I don't see much of Ohio effectively ministering now. There's too much of a kind of pride that borders on obnoxiousness, that loves endlessly reciting why Iowa and North Carolina aren't Conservative and why no other Friends are Friends, blah blah blah. It can get tiresome and legalistic. I could point to plenty of online forums where it crosses the line into detraction. Charity and love are Christian qualities too. Humility and a sense of humor are compatible with traditional Quakerism. How do we find a way to continue safeguarding Ohio's pearls while sharing them widely with the world. There are Ohio Friends doing this and while I differ with Scott Savage on some social issues I consider tangential (and he probably doesn't), I very much appreciate his hard work advancing the understanding of Quakerism and agree on more than I disagree.

But how do we find a way to be both Conservative and Evangelical? To marry Truth with Love? To not only understand the truth but to know how, when and where to share it? I think Convergence can help Ohio think about delivery of Truth and it can help bring seekers into the doors. When I rhetorically asked last month what Convergent Friends might be converging toward, the first answer that popped in my head was Ohio Friends with a sense of humor. I'm not sure it's the most accurate definition but it reveals my own sympathies and I find it tempting to think about what that would look like (hint: kraken might be involved).

A reminder to everyone that I'll be at Ohio Yearly Meeting Conservative sessions in a few weeks to talk more about the opportunities for Ohio engagement with Convergence. Come round if you're in the area.

Also check out Robin's own response to Scott, up there on her own blog. It's a moving personal testimony to the power and joy of cross-Quaker fellowship and the spiritual growth that can result.

A few weeks ago I got a bulk email from a prominent sixty-something Friend, who wrote that a programmed New Age practice popular in our branch of Quakerism over the last few years has been a "crucial spiritual experience for a great many of the best of our young adult Friends to whom [Liberal Friends] must look for its future" and that they represented the "rising generation of dedicated young adult Friends." Really? I thought I'd share a sampling of emails and posts I've gotten over just the last couple of days.