two cents Posts

I usually skip out on meme games but I thought I'd try out Jeanne's class one. Bold are the privileges I can claim from my youth, italics are ones that I'm unsure of or that are more "yes but" kind of privileges. My mom's Lutheran pride kept her from wanting us to look or feel poor. Yes, I didn't have second-hand clothes but the rich kids often did. While they might wear scrubs from their parent's doctor practice or vintage clothes scored from a thrift-store outing, I was in striped button-down shirts from the respectable department store whose teen department was always empty of teen customers. Yes, respectable people on TV sound like me but that's because my mom dropped her childhood Pennsylvania Dutch accent and was hyper-aware of non-standard accents (a trait I've unfortunately picked up, I correct/mock Julie's "wooder" pronunciation for water before I can even think about it, it's like I have a very specificTourettes Syndrome that only applies to non-standard accents). Julie tallied up and commented on the quiz here in Jeanne's comments. It's fascinating to realize that although I grew up significantly poorer and have less than half Julie's "steps" she's much more culturally working class than I'll ever be.

Father went to college (he was secretive about past, he might have done a semester at St Joe's)
Father finished college
Mother went to college (two year secretarial program)
Mother finished college
Have any relative who is an attorney, physician, or professor.
Were the same or higher class than your high school teachers
Had more than 50 books in your childhood home
Had more than 500 books in your childhood home
Were read children's books by a parent
Had lessons of any kind before you turned 18
Had more than two kinds of lessons before you turned 18
The people in the media who dress and talk like me are portrayed positively (because we're good assimilationists)
Had a credit card with your name on it before you turned 18
Had to take out less than $5000 in student loans in order to go to college
Didn't need student loans to go to college out of high school
Went to a private high school
Went to summer camp (day camp at the Y for a few summers)
Had a private tutor before you turned 18
Family vacations involved staying at hotels
Your clothing was all bought new before you turned 18 (pride kept us out of second-hand stores until we later crossed that class boundary where thrifting is cool precisely because its not a necessity)
Your parents bought you a car that was not a hand-me-down from them
There was original art in your house when you were a child
Had a phone in your room before you turned 18
You and your family lived in a single family house
Your parent(s) owned their own house or apartment before you left home
You had your own room as a child (I was the only child at home after age 7)
Participated in an SAT/ACT prep course (my mom thought they were cheating)
Had your own TV in your room in High School (mostly as monitor for Radio Shack Color Computer she bought me junior year of high school)
Owned a mutual fund or IRA in High School or College
Flew anywhere on a commercial airline before you turned 16
Went on a cruise with your family
Went on more than one cruise with your family
Your parents took you to museums and art galleries as you grew up (we were more zoo/county fair/Independence Hall tour types (hey, they're all free/low-cost!))
You were unaware of how much heating bills were for your family (n/a: included in apt rent, besides my mom would never let on that things were tight)

A list like this can never be all inclusive but it seems there are some big omissions. Where's anything about family structure and finances, like "You had two parental figures living in your house" and "Both parents contributed to family income" or "One parent stayed home or worked part-time"? In my own instance, my father had a secret other family and never paid for anything other than the occasional trip to Roy Rogers (secret family to "Little Marty" at least, the women and older children presumably noitced he was only around half the time and constructed some mental run-around to explain it away).

The other omission is social networks. I have no memory of family friends. I cannot name one friend of my father and my mother's friends were limited to a handful of "girls" at the office. By the time I got to high school I started to see how certain classmates were able to work the system to get the best teachers and classes and this was mostly accomplished by parents swapping notes after Hewbrew class or at church or at hockey practice. Friends are rightly noted for the strength of their social networks and I suspect these provide a social privilege that is far more valuable than parental salary.

Jeanne promises to write a part two to her post explaining what this all means to Friends. I'm looking forward to it though I'm unsure just what easy generalization can be made if we're looking at origins. One of the few surveys trying to be comprehensive found Philadelphia-area Friends don't reflect American averages yet for many convinced Friends our participation has mirrored (and perhaps been unconsciously motivated by) an upward class mobility. Keep an eye on Social Class & Quakers for more!

My F/f Thomas T emailed me about the Blogphiladelphia "unconference" happening next month in downtown Philly. It sounds like it could be silly and interesting at the same time so I've signed up.

Personal stalkers making summer plans should keep mid-August open. It looks like my blog/IM/Twitter/Facebook buddy C Wess Daniels and I are going to add yet another social media to our repertoire and actually meet face to face as co-presenters for an evening event at Ohio Yearly Meeting Conservative. Along with Ohio's David Male we'll be banging on that ever-popular "Convergent Friends" drum. I'm not sure I've ever actually given my two cents on the term and the phenom. I'll probably post about it in the lead up to the August event as a kind of preparation. Anyone within road-trip distance of Barnesville is invited to come over Friday evening the 17th to hear the talk.

And speaking of Conservative Friends, everyone should check out the great newish website called The Conservative Friend, an unofficial outreach initiative of Ohio Yearly Meeting. It's simple but attractive, walks that fine line between truth telling and humility with grace and has a wonderful sense of humor and self-awareness that sneaks up on you as you read through. Now who knew Ohio Conservatives had a sense of humor? Seriously, it's really nice work.

I'll be missing the Conservative Gathering of Friends being held in the Lancaster, PA, area next weekend. I'd like to claim that money and time is keeping me from attending but it's hard to argue that when I drove by its meeting sites only a few days ago just to look at trains. Well, let's just say at this moment of life my spirit needed family time more than Quaker gathering time. I hope it goes well; if any QuakerRanter readers do attend I'd love to hear their impressions.

From the excellent religious journalism site The Revealer is Scott Korb's review of the new book by the National Survey of Youth and Religion (I talked about the survey a month ago). It's an great review, made better by the friendly disagreement in the commentary. But what struck me was his use of the terms "therapeutic individualism" and "moralistic therapeutic deism."

The authors first identify the social contexts in which adolescents live and believe, starting with a discussion of therapeutic individualism, a set of assumptions and commitments that "powerfully defines everyday moral and relational codes and boundaries in the United States." Personal experience is what shapes our notions of truth, and truth is found nowhere else but in happiness and positive self-esteem. In religious terms, according to teenagers, God cares that each teenager is happy and that each teenager has high self-esteem. Morality has nothing to do with authority, mutual obligations, or sacrifice.

But we're not talking about the teenagers here, are we? The review hints that this is the condition of the adults too, only we're better at couching it in more convincingly religious-sounding language. Did I say I attended two days of Philadelphia Yearly Meeting sessions this weekend? More to come.