Comments on: Elmer Swim Club: the heartbreak of autism parents

By: Jill Reistle

Jill Reistle — Sun, 30 Aug 2015 12:46:00 +0000

I have a daughter on Raccoon Valley swim team and belong tot hat pool community. The swim coach is a special education instructional assistant and ver the years has worked with several swimmers with autism and aspergergers on the team. The team is very welcoming. I would encourage you to visit the pool and make contact with the coach about joining. Swimming is such a wonderful sport and summer swimming is such an awesome opportunity for everyone.Please don’g give up on your dream of seeing your son at his senior recognition

By: geojlc

geojlc — Sat, 29 Aug 2015 17:14:00 +0000

In reply to Martin Kelley. I'm so sorry you have to deal with that. I haven't had to work with an autistic family member, but I have had to deal with the toxic clique behavior thrown at me. It is not fun and my heart breaks for you and your family.

By: Beth

Beth — Sat, 29 Aug 2015 05:16:00 +0000

Wow, what ugliness. Speaking as a parent of a 28 year old autistic son, society gives lip service to being understanding and accommodating, but the reality is, our children are still expected to act like everyone else.

By: Lisa DiStefano Hannigan

Lisa DiStefano Hannigan — Fri, 28 Aug 2015 16:23:00 +0000

In reply to Bob Cook. I don't believe anyone said it did. It's a clique, not even the entire pool community.

By: Michael White

Michael White — Fri, 28 Aug 2015 16:19:00 +0000

Take these morons to court

By: Michael White

Michael White — Fri, 28 Aug 2015 16:18:00 +0000

This is an outrage you need to take this to court find a lawyer thake on these two morons who lack compassion

By: Kstill

Kstill — Fri, 28 Aug 2015 15:55:00 +0000

I wish I could offer you support and encouragement. You are not alone. <3

By: Martin Kelley

Martin Kelley — Fri, 28 Aug 2015 15:34:00 +0000

In the spirit of transparency, I’ll share that I just deleted a comment that was particularly judgmental and nasty, from another pool autism mom who said this was all poor parenting. She mistook my not escalating things in the moment yesterday (which would have been really *really* bad) with not disciplining Francis at all. She went on to cite a long list of family infractions over the past three months. She wouldn’t have seen most of these; this was a group-list made by at least half a dozen people who must have been watching us and talking about us behind our backs.

Wow. There is a group dynamic where someone becomes the outsider that it’s okay to hate on. The clique starts to compile stories and share notes. Every incident, no matter how momentary or trivial is added to a list. It’s a toxic environment, hate breeding hate as more people get drawn in. I’ve seen it before but it still stuns me. Especially coming from adults. I’m sure this list is being shared privately on Facebook and that people we know and love are seeing it. Humanity just really sucks sometimes.