More pics over on the Flickr account. The afternoon ritual is to run off to an outdoor adventure when Francis wakes up from his nap. Favorite spot: the lake park. Here are the boys on top of the lifeguard stand.
Quaker Ranter
A Weekly Newsletter and Blog from Martin Kelley
Doink Doink/Chunk Chunk/Bomp Bomp
August 4, 2008

As the evidence accumulates on the Follieri/Galante church-for-beach-house developer scandal, it’s become something of a parlor game around the kitchen table to speculate on who will play all the characters in the upcoming mini-series. It’s only a matter of time really. We’ve got a glam Eurotrash huckster, a Hollywood actress, the Sopranos-like mob vice president, Bill Clinton shady dealings with his all-but-pedophile drinking buddies – and of course the Diocese of Camden’s Bishop Galante and at least one diocesan priest with a fondness for playing dress-up. It will only become more truth-is-stranger-than-fiction when a few more details work their way from open secret to FBI documentation and NY Post headlines.
So while it’s not a surprise, there is a certain satisfaction in the latest media rumor that “Law & Order” is planning one of their classic “ripped from the headlines” dramatization of the scandal:
Raffaello’s arrest was and still is the buzz in New York City’s social circles.…He was the ultimate con man; handsome, rich, smooth and with a celebrity girlfriend to make him seem legit. I’m sure this will be the highest-rated Law & Order episode next season.
There’s enough angles to this story to fill an entire season of television so we don’t know how prominent the Bishop’s part will be. But L&O creator Dick Wolf grew up an altar boy at St. Patrick’s cathedral in New York and the L&O costume department has more clerical outfits that Raffaello Follieri’s closet. Wolf rarely misses the chance to throw a priest into the script. Whole seasons of the show were devoted to ripped-from-the-headlines pieces on the priest/bishop sex abuse scandal in the early 2000s and I’m sure a follow-up look at the web of financial fraud fueled (or at least justified) by the settlement payouts would be a big ratings hit.
I just wish Lennie Briscoe was still around to make the collar. BOMP BOMP.
Is it Convergent to talk about Convergence?
July 25, 2008
Warning: insider Quaker conversation to follow.
Over on her blog Robin M has a great post looking at the Convergent Friend conversation now. It’s kind of State of the Convergent Friends report. It’s very good and well worth a read and makes me wonder again where exactly I stand.
Even though I was around at the gestation and birth of the term, and even though it originally referred to a small group of bloggers who I all love, I go back and forth between using and refusing to use the label. I don’t feel the need to always be explicitly “convergent.” Sometimes I can just embody the spirit of it, which as a renewal movement is really just the same old spirit of Quakerism, which as its own renewal movement is the same old spirit of Christianity, with is just that spirit which animates the world.
See: it’s too easy to throw up terms as a defense shield or as a way of boosting ourselves. I know I’m prone to this trap. I’ll say “I’m doing this as a [Convergent Friend/Quaker/Christian]” as if that explains anything, as if careful listening to the Holy Spirit isn’t all the authority that any of us needs.
I think a central part of the convergent experience is stepping outside of the institutional boxes and walking into the discomfort zone of our brand of Friends – asking the thorny questions and pointing out the inconvenient elephants. If “Convergent Friend” ever settles down into a set definition and annual rituals (like a Gathering interest group?), we’ll see our own brier patches take root along those inconvenient pathways.
I’ve noticed Friends with bright ideas brand and sell themselves, and have wondered to myself how freely the gospel spirit is moving after ten years of Gathering workshops and Pendle Hill workshops. I’m not so much purist that I don’t understand that sometimes those of us led to the ministry have to push through doubts and present things we’ve promised to present even if we’re not in the best mood (praying that we find that groove). But I’ve also sat through committee meetings that felt like the Bill Murray movie Groundhog Day, where I look around and realize the same people have been sitting in the same room having the same conversation for twenty years, and everyone is just so tired and the feeling is they’re all reading a script and would want to be anywhere but where they are.
A friendly amendment to Convergent
Just the last thing is that for me if our work isn’t ultimately rooted in sharing the good news then it’s self-indulgent. I don’t want to create a little oasis or hippy compound of happy people. Friends aren’t going to go to heaven in our politically-correct smugness while the rest of the world is dying off. It’s all of us or none of us. If we’re not actively evangelizing <liberal translation: sharing the spiritual insights and gifts we’ve been given />, then we are part of the problem. “Convergence” is Quaker lingo. When we say it we’re turning our back to the world to talk amongst ourselves: a useful exercise occassionally but not our main work.
I’ve been reading a lot of seeker blogs where Quakers are mentioned and I’m struck by how so many of the words we routinely use in our blogs and self-statements are totally alien to others.
It may be too late to throw a switch on the quickly-gathering-steam train that is the “Convergent Friends” express. But here’s my friendly amendment: Convergent Friends need to be ready to get out of the Quaker conference centers and need to be ready to put aside the Quaker arcana we’ve accumulated over the years. If all we’re doing is sitting around talking to roomfulls of Quakers in our hopeless-inaccessible lingo then we’re fooling ourselves that any real renewal is happening.
Frankly, I have no idea what this would look like. I’m as clueless and scared by the possibilities as most of y’all. I just know we need to do it. Even if I had all the travel money and time in the world (I have neither), I don’t know if I’d have enough motivation to get to the next Barnesville / Greensboro / Richmond / Newberg / wherever conference (I just realized I’m reinforcing my last Quaker post!). I love meeting other Friends and I soooo miss seeing other Friends in my current relative isolation. But. But. I wish I had a better ending to this post. I guess I’ll just throw it out to the comments: what are we being called to do to send this work into the world?
Anne Hathaway’s files aren’t “Diaries”
July 24, 2008
Well the Department of Justice must be a Quaker Ranter reader because they followed yesterday’s advice and confiscated the private papers of actress Anne Hathaway, ex-girlfriend, board member and business partner of con man Raffaello Follieri.
But yet again her publicity machine rolls on. Most news outlets are calling the papers her “diaries” in oblique reference to her appearance in the 2001’s “Princess Diaries” movie. One tongue-in-cheek headline read “The FBI knows whether Anne Hathaway dots her ‘I’s with hearts.” Financial papers, photos, documents, etc., are reduced to “diaries”. Boy oh boy. I wonder if the celebrity blogs will start describing the D.A. as a “fire breathing dragon.” Poor little Anne bilking millions of dollars from investors, how was she to know?
The NY Daily News article says the papers included photos of Follieri with the Clintons, Pope John Paul II and John and Cindy McCain. Down here in South Jersey we can’t help but wonder whether a few chummy shots of the Italian con man with pal Bishop Joseph Galante. Such pictures certainly exist somewhere, whether in Anne’s collection or in the photo shoebox of some South Jersey priest. I would love to see them.
What’s Anne Hathaway doing in Cape May anyway?
July 23, 2008
One of the things I don’t get about the press treatment of the Follieri/Galante scandal is their attitude toward actress Anne Hathaway. Until a few weeks ago she was the dapper Italian’s girlfriend and they were constantly photographed together. But they broke up the week before the scandal hit the tabloids, and all we’ve gotten are these silly human interest stories. We hear speculation she must be heartbroken, we hear how she’s moving on with her life, we even hear details about getting her dog back from her old apartment with Follieri. She’s lost a lot of weight of her latest movie promo tour and mysteriously showed up at a Cape May bar singing Journey songs this weekend with a photographer conveniently in tow.
Hello? She was on the board of directors of the Follieri Group’s charities. The New York penthouse they shared was paid for by conned money as were their lavish trips and high flying lifestyle. Boyfriend drama is the last thing she needs to be worried about right now. I sure hope the FBI is carefully going through her checkbook and date book right now. She both solicited and received stolen money. No wonder she’s lost a lot of weight.
And what’s up with her getting off the plane from London and driving a couple of hours to the southern tip of the New Jersey? The Cape May County house Follieri bought from the bishop was reportedly just sold again. Could Anne Hathaway be on the deed or authorized to sign for Follieri? Idle speculation of course but I do wish her publicists weren’t making fools of the popular press like this.
The Andrew Walton Idiot Defense
July 16, 2008
Please read Galante and Follieri: the Bishop and the Con Man, which lays out the details mentioned in this post.
The Diocese of Camden is in frantic spin control mode after yesterday’s revelations that Bishop Galante personally received $400,000
from high flying Eurotrash con man Raffaelo Follieri for the sale of a
beach house the Bishop had been unable to unload. Follieri’s the guy
who’s been trying to buy up Catholic church properties across the
country while making out with his Hollywood girlfriend on San Tropez
beaches and partying it up with Bill Clinton’s sleezy billionaire
buddies.
It seems like a pretty clear cut case. Galante had his hand in Follieri’s cookie jar.
Sold his beach house to the guy who stood to profit most from the
Bishop’s plan to sell off half of South Jersey’s churches. Oldest story
in the book. Give him the cell next to Follieri’s and they can reminisce about
the good old days (NSFW).
I’ve been wondering just how the Diocese would try to spin this story
as it waits for federal investigators to come knocking at the door. And
today the official Spokesperson in Charge of Fairy Tales called up all the papers. Ladies and gentlemen, we present you with:
The Andrew Walton Idiot Defense
Turns out someone at the Vatican called someone at the
Diocesan offices back in 2004 telling them to sell to Follieri. That’s
it. No one can remember who made the call. No one can remember who took
the call. For all we know Follieri filled his mouth with cotton balls
and did his best Marlon Brando imitation from the pay phone across the street.
The Archdioceses in Boston, New York, Newark and elsewhere told Follieri they had enough bridges thank you very much, but poor Grandpa Joe was confused and started lending him priests and giving him the keys to the beach house.
How could anyone imagine that Follieri was a crook? He seemed like any
other Mother Teresa choir boy with his $10,000 suits, New York penthouse,
heroin habit, convicted mob associates, San Tropez weekends and expensively-maintained Hollywood girlfriend. “Nobody was aware of problems with Mr. Follieri or his company at that time.” Yeah right. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. And I’m the widow of the late John Paul II, recently deceased President of the Vatican, with frozen assets in Nigeria I’d like your help in securing. Please email me back at your earliest convenience Andy Walton, I know you won’t be disappointed.
Using Google Analytics, Webmaster Tools and Optimizer to understand your site
July 8, 2008
A video post about using free Google tools to understand your website and customers. Focuses on Google Webmaster Tools, Google Analytics and Google Website Optimizer.
Conferences and videos
July 7, 2008
Churches Retool Mission Trips — washingtonpost.com
A growing body of research questions the value of the trips abroad, which are supposed to bring hope and Christianity to the needy of the world, while offering American participants an opportunity to work in disadvantaged communities, develop relationships and charge up their faith. Critics scornfully call such trips “religious tourism” undertaken by “vacationaries.”
My brand of religious don’t do this kind of mission work but we are more and more enchanted with long-distance conferences. We now address every issue with a conference but do we ask any “research questions” about their effectiveness? The web is a great tool to extend the conference outward and yet, despite all the content that could be easily ported to the web, most conferences, consultations and gatherings barely exist online.
I know that real life has it’s own value – I was happy to have a visit from individual traveler Micah Bales this weekend, a Friend with a great talent for the good question that stays with you long after his bus departs. I just wish I saw more media coming out of these big events, more ways to bootstrap the volumes of content produced at these events into something we can use for outreach.
If anecdotal evidence is an indication, most of the people who have come to Friends in the last half-decade first encountered us on Beliefnet, a for-profit dot-com with no connection to any Friends body. It’s definitions of “Liberal Quakers” and “Orthodox Quakers” have become more important (de facto) than all of our books of Faith and Practice. Beliefnet, Wikipedia and a site called Religious Tolerance have become the definers of our faith to millions of seekers. Nothing we’re doing comes close to Beliefnet.
And this is part fo the reason I’ve been fascinated by a Youtube video that was made this weekend. It’s an introduction to “liberal Quakers” by someone who’s never been to Quaker worship. While this might sound presumptuous, the real crime is that hers is the only American liberal Quaker introduction on Youtube. What the hell are we doing, Friends? I’ve been corresponding with the Youtuber. She’s 22, a spiritual seeker who cobbled together a spirituality after following a couple of dead-end spiritual paths. She came across the Beliefnet quiz, came out a “liberal Quaker” and started looking for real world Friends. She tried the meeting in her home town but it looked deserted (!) and so started an email correspondence with a Friend she found on another meeting’s website. She did the Youtube video because she couldn’t find any American introductions and wanted to give back, especially to younger seekers that might not respond to a British Youtube series. Yes her video is awkward and a little sketchy on some points of liberal Quaker theology, but it’s honest and doesn’t contain any viewpoints you won’t hear around most meetinghouses.
PS: Since writing this I’ve come across the first video from the just-concluded FGC Gathering. I don’t know if it’ll help with outreach but it is really funny. Thanks Skip, I feel like I was there!
