Why they left the Quakers

February 1, 2024

Here’s a sober­ing fac­toid: one of the more Googled search terms bring­ing peo­ple to Friends Jour­nal is “Why I left the Quakers.”

They find two things. The first match is a 22-year-old arti­cle from Jack Pow­el­son, “Why I am Leav­ing Quak­ers.” He notes the polit­i­cal diver­si­ty of the Quak­ers he joined in the 1940s and bemoans that “over the years, unpro­grammed Quak­ers have nar­rowed their views”:

Back in 1943, as many Repub­li­cans sat in the bench­es as Democ­rats, and meet­ing was a place for the spir­i­tu­al enrich­ment of per­sons of all polit­i­cal beliefs; even sol­diers in uni­form came to meet­ing. If the spir­it of the 1940s exist­ed now, right-to-lifers might today sit next to pro-choicers, each being equal­ly blessed in the eyes of God. With the spir­i­tu­al under-girding of the meet­ing, dif­fer­ent polit­i­cal beliefs would be advo­cat­ed in sec­u­lar organizations.

I think it worth­while to note that when Jack wrote his own obit­u­ary(!), he still iden­ti­fied as a Friend. This is not atyp­i­cal. I can quick­ly think of a half-dozen peo­ple who have pub­licly left Quak­ers but are still active in Quak­er social media spaces. I’m real­ly grate­ful for that, as many of them are per­son­al friends, men­tors, and inspi­ra­tions and I appre­ci­ate their per­spec­tive on the Quak­er dra­mas of the day. Quak­er spir­i­tu­al prin­ci­ples aren’t real­ly that unique and it’s quite pos­si­ble to fol­low them out­side of Quak­er reli­gious bod­ies and these nom­i­nal­ly ex-Quakers show how this can be done.

The sec­ond FJ arti­cle that those search­ing for “why I left Quak­ers” turn up is Bet­sy Blake’s 2013 “Quak­erism Left Me.” I’m a big Bet­sy Blake fan and worked on her as edi­tor on this arti­cle. I know it was brave to write and that she got some seri­ous push­back after pub­li­ca­tion. She too was talk­ing of polarization:

We knew we would be affect­ed by a divi­sive­ness that we did not expe­ri­ence and found con­trary to the for­give­ness and peace­mak­ing that we were being taught. Though younger, we did sym­pa­thize. We too had dealt with con­flicts, fights, bul­ly­ing, and pop­u­lar­i­ty con­tests. We knew enough to know that there was pas­sion and gen­uine care among the adults, mixed in with some­thing that was telling them to cut off their broth­ers and sis­ters in Christ.

Bet­sy of course was­n’t declar­ing that she her­self was leav­ing. The polar­iza­tions she spoke of soon led to schisms in both the Indi­ana year­ly meet­ing of her youth and the North Car­oli­na (FUM) of her teen years. I don’t know Bet­sy’s for­mal mem­ber­ship sta­tus nowa­days but she’s active on Quak­er social media. (Pro­fes­sion­al­ly, she designs web­sites nowa­days and offers a tem­plate for Quak­er meet­ings that looks great. I would total­ly rec­om­mend her if you’re look­ing to revamp your site!)


Anoth­er data point in all this might be George Amoss Jr.’s recent blog post, “Leav­ing Lib­er­al Quak­erism: What Love Would Have Me Do.”

George talks about by the “exac­er­bat­ed” “self-righteousness” he’s encountered:

The prox­i­mate cause of that alien­ation is the adop­tion among Lib­er­al Friends of sociopo­lit­i­cal ide­olo­gies that I find reduc­tive, dis­hon­est, divi­sive, and destruc­tive, lead­ing even to the defense of vio­lent crime. But that, at least in its cur­rent extreme form, is a recent devel­op­ment, facil­i­tat­ed by the fun­da­men­tal unsound­ness of con­tem­po­rary beliefs.

Friends are a big, messy group of peo­ple with all sorts of opin­ions. While we can agree on broad prin­ci­ples (racism bad, peace good), it’s rare to devel­op a real sense of uni­ty on either analy­sis or strat­e­gy. We should of course thresh out issues; inter­est sub-groups of like-minded indi­vid­u­als can build momen­tum and do a lot of good with­in both our reli­gious soci­ety and in the greater world. If we can tol­er­ate this messy diver­si­ty in our meet­ings, then our shared com­mu­ni­ty can be great incu­ba­tors for some­thing more rad­i­cal than itself. With time and spir­i­tu­al dis­cern­ment the rad­i­cal posi­tion can become main­stream among Friends. 

I do see some Friends nowa­days try­ing to press for more ide­o­log­i­cal con­for­mi­ty than actu­al­ly exists. The ever-interesting and chal­leng­ing Adria Gulizia has a long com­ment on George’s Amos post about try­ing to rec­on­cile Quak­er beliefs with an antiracism state­ment being con­sid­ered by New York Year­ly Meet­ing. She con­cludes: “But what some of us have learned is that, while the stakes could not be high­er, it is not in vic­to­ry but in the strug­gle itself that we find our bless­ing, that in fac­ing our reck­on­ing with faith and courage, we may be strength­ened and deep­ened and trans­formed, not just as indi­vid­u­als but as a peo­ple of faith.” 

I hope we can con­tin­ue to respect the diver­si­ty and messi­ness of Lib­er­al Friends.

As I see it, the pur­pose of Quak­er com­mu­ni­ty is the spir­i­tu­al and com­mu­ni­ty part of our work. Our spe­cif­ic polit­i­cal lan­guages and analy­ses will evolve and change every decade or so; what I hope will remain con­stant is our desire for truth, our reliance on the Holy Spir­it for guid­ance, and our gen­uine love of neigh­bors in all their con­tra­dic­tions and messi­ness. In 2006 Paul Buck­ley wrote The Temp­ta­tion to Do Some­thing: A Qui­etist Per­spec­tive, that I think speaks to some of this.

I do hope George Amoss finds a way to stay engaged with Friends. 

The Cycles of War

September 11, 2023

Twenty-two years ago I was on my hon­ey­moon, whale watch­ing off the coast of Maine, obliv­i­ous to the world. My wife and I had stopped in a cute lit­tle mar­ket when a few snip­pets of words broke through my con­scious­ness from the radio play­ing in the back­ground. I first noticed the hushed solem­ni­ty of the NPR hosts, then dis­joint­ed words: plane, crashed, tow­ers.

Like every­one, we quick­ly pieced togeth­er the hor­ror hap­pen­ing in real time: sec­ond plane, jumpers, col­lapsed. I was pub­lish­ing Non​vi​o​lence​.org then, a peace por­tal, and felt I had to say some­thing, any­thing, so I rushed to the pub­lic com­put­er at the local library. There was a queue of wor­ried patrons want­i­ng to mes­sage loved ones. In a few moments I typed out some rushed words:

Today’s ter­ror­ist attacks are sim­ply hor­ren­dous, thou­sands of inno­cents might well lose their lives. Most impor­tant now is to sit patient­ly, to pray and to not call for mas­sive indis­crim­i­nant attacks that might only kill thou­sands more. Our char­ac­ter as a nation is being test­ed now. We must pray and heal and not respond in a hatred that will only fuel the cycle of war, glob­al injustice

We know how that turned out. Three thou­sand dead in New York and West­ern Penn­syl­va­nia, fol­lowed by hun­dreds of thou­sands in West­ern Asia. Decades of wars in Afghanistan. A sec­ond war in Iraq prompt­ed by the flim­si­est and most unlike­ly of excus­es. Today, after all the blood, those coun­tries are hos­tile and unsta­ble. Yet two of the coun­tries co-responsible were U.S. allies, are still U.S. allies. The 9/11 attacks was planned and large­ly exe­cut­ed by Saud­is; Osama bin Laden was final­ly found liv­ing out in the open in Pak­istan in an upper class com­pound a short walk from the gates of the coun­try’s mil­i­tary acad­e­my. I’m glad we did­n’t invade Sau­di Ara­bia and Pak­istan but it makes one won­der what the oth­er wars were meant to accomplish.

This week many peo­ple are gath­er­ing to remem­ber 9/11, as they should. It was a hor­rif­ic attack. It struck our sense of safe­ty and fueled night­mares and tears. But when do we as U.S. cit­i­zens gath­er to think about how we react­ed? When do we remem­ber hun­dreds of thou­sands who have died since 9/11 in the name of ret­ri­bu­tion and a fear­ful revenge we’ve called free­dom?

William Penn on community

March 21, 2019

I some­times like to high­light the com­ments that peo­ple leave here on the blog. A few days ago, Carl Abbott replied to a link to a Steven Davi­son post on com­mu­ni­ty as a tes­ti­mo­ny. He wrote:

William Pen­n’s intro­duc­tion to George Fox’s Jour­nal (1691) speaks to some­thing very like community:

“Besides these gen­er­al doc­trines, as the larg­er branch­es, there sprang forth sev­er­al par­tic­u­lar doc­trines, that did exem­pli­fy and far­ther explain the truth and effi­ca­cy of the gen­er­al doc­trine before observed, in their lives and exam­ples: as,

Com­mu­nion and lov­ing one anoth­er. This is anot­ed mark in the mouth of all sorts of peo­ple con­cern­ing them: They will meet, they will help and stick one to anoth­er. Whence it is com­mon to hear some say: Look how the Quak­ers love and take care of one anoth­er. Oth­ers, less mod­er­ate, will say: The Quak­ers live none but them­selves: and if lov­ing one anoth­er. and hav­ing an inti­mate com­mu­nion in reli­gion, and con­stant care to meet to wor­ship God, and help one anoth­er, be any mark of prim­i­tive Chris­tian­i­ty, they had it, blessed be the Lord in ample manner.” 

This cer­tain­ly sounds like com­mu­ni­ty to me.

Trustworthy, part one: the cost of betrayal

March 4, 2019

Johan Mau­r­er on abus­es in our meetings:

As far as I know, the final set­tle­ment in that case was nev­er made pub­lic. In a larg­er sense, the “final set­tle­ment” demand­ed by God’s grace and jus­tice will nev­er be mea­sured in dol­lars, but there is some­thing sat­is­fy­ing about know­ing that mon­ey was involved: almost noth­ing slices through pious mis­di­rec­tion or sophistry like cold cash. But it’s also true that cash does­n’t cut deeply enough. 

I’m still uncon­vinced we’re all doing enough to bring day­light to skele­tons in our clos­ets or heal­ing to vic­tims. Law­suits make every­one clam up, yet they too often seem to be the only mech­a­nism for shed­ding light on the sit­u­a­tion in the first place.

https://​blog​.canyoube​lieve​.me/​2​0​1​9​/​0​2​/​t​r​u​s​t​w​o​r​t​h​y​-​p​a​r​t​-​o​n​e​-​c​o​s​t​-​o​f​-​b​e​t​r​a​y​a​l​.​h​tml

A profile of William Penn by Andrew Murphy

January 4, 2019

Mur­phy is a polit­i­cal sci­ence prof in New Jer­sey and has writ­ten a new bio of William Penn. I sus­pect this Aeon post is a bit of spon­sored con­tent to pro­mote the book but it’s still worth a read:

Penn was a man of para­dox­i­cal qual­i­ties. He espoused a rad­i­cal­ly egal­i­tar­i­an Quak­er the­ol­o­gy, insist­ing that some­thing divine resided with­in each indi­vid­ual, yet he owned slaves on his Amer­i­can estate. He praised rep­re­sen­ta­tive insti­tu­tions such as par­lia­ment and the jury sys­tem, but spent years in hid­ing for his loy­al­ty to an abso­lutist king. ‘I am like to be an adopt­ed Amer­i­can,’ he wrote short­ly after arriv­ing in Penn­syl­va­nia in 1682, but spent only four of his remain­ing 36 years there. And he was chron­i­cal­ly inca­pable of man­ag­ing mon­ey, spend­ing eight months in an Eng­lish debtors’ prison in his 60s, even while his colony quick­ly became a com­mer­cial success. 

https://​aeon​.co/​i​d​e​a​s​/​h​e​s​-​n​o​t​-​t​h​e​-​g​u​y​-​o​n​-​q​u​a​k​e​r​-​o​a​t​s​-​h​e​s​-​m​u​c​h​-​m​o​r​e​-​i​n​t​e​r​e​s​t​ing

In defense of Quaker media

January 3, 2019

I gath­er that the Quak­er Face­book group is going through one of its reg­u­lar debates about iden­ti­ty and tone and mod­er­a­tion. The prob­lem is Face­book. It is the most direct com­peti­tor of Quaker-produced media. Its algo­rithms and mod­er­a­tor tools are not designed for the kind of con­sid­ered, inclu­sive, Spirit-led, and non-reactive dis­course that is Quak­er style at its ide­al (yes, we blow it our­selves con­stant­ly but hope­ful­ly keep striving).

I post­ed there tonight sug­gest­ing that Friends con­sid­er a media diet that includes more Quak­er media — books and mag­a­zines and blogs and videos and in-real-life dis­cus­sion oppor­tu­ni­ties. I wor­ry that if Face­book groups become the most vis­i­ble style of Quak­er dia­logue, then we will have lost some­thing tru­ly precious.

This mes­sage isn’t new to long­time read­ers of Quak­er­Ran­ter. I extolled blog­ging as a hedge against Face­bookjust yes­ter­day and in August I wrote about some of the dia­logue prob­lems inher­ent in the Face­book mod­el.

I’ve been fig­ur­ing out Face­book strate­gies for Quak­er media since it opened up to non-students cir­ca 2006. I appre­ci­ate much of the atten­tion it’s pro­vid­ed over the years. Social media like YouTube has also been a use­ful plat­form for things like the Quak­er­s­peak projectdespite own­er Google’s spot­ty track record. But it’s becom­ing hard to deny that social media has reshaped the style of civ­il dis­course and troll­ish hack­ery, most­ly for the worse. I think it’s real­ly essen­tial that we become more con­scious of the sources of our dai­ly media diet.

This Couple Had a “Kitten Hour” at Their Wedding

November 17, 2018

This sto­ry needs no clever introduction:

“We want­ed our guests to have some­thing to do as they arrived [while] we took pic­tures with our fam­i­lies, so we planned a kit­ten hour,” Colleen told POPSUGAR. “We did a cock­tail hour with cock­tails named after our cats for the recep­tion, but the Quak­er meet­ing house we used for the cer­e­mo­ny does­n’t allow alco­hol on premis­es. I want­ed a wed­ding fal­con, but Iz vetoed that, and so we com­pro­mised on kittens.” 

https://​www​.pop​sug​ar​.com/​m​o​m​s​/​C​o​u​p​l​e​-​H​a​s​-​K​i​t​t​e​n​-​H​o​u​r​-​W​e​d​d​i​n​g​-​4​5​4​9​8​1​5​1​/​amp

The Doctrine of Discovery, white guilt, and Friends

November 2, 2018

Johan Mau­r­er starts with “it’s com­pli­cat­ed” and goes on from there. A pas­sage I find par­tic­u­lar­ly inter­est­ing is his expla­na­tion of why look­ing at large-scale state-level atroc­i­ties like the steal­ing of native land or the kid­nap­ping of mil­lions of Africans is not just some­thing to be done out of guilt:

Whether you believe in an intel­li­gent Satan (along the lines of Peter Wag­n­er’s ideas) or a more imper­son­al mech­a­nism of demon­ic evil (Wal­ter Wink), we should­n’t pre­tend that such nodes just go away. Their evil per­sists. The basis for apol­o­gy and repen­tance is not white guilt or shame or any form of self-flagellation. Instead, it is to con­duct spir­i­tu­al war­fare against the demons of racism and oppres­sion and false wit­ness, to declare them off-limits in the land that we now share, so that we can con­duct our future stew­ard­ship — and make our pub­lic invest­ments— in free­dom and mutu­al regard. 

I’m drawn to the old notion of “The Tempter” as a force that leads us to do what’s per­son­al­ly reward­ing rather than moral­ly just. I think it explains a lot of inter­nal strug­gles I’ve faced, even in sim­ple wit­ness­es. As Johan says, these mas­sive injus­tices can’t just be undone but they need to be rec­og­nized for the immen­si­ty of their scale. I’ve also seen this weird way in which pro­gres­sive whites can blithe­ly dis­re­gard Native Amer­i­can per­spec­tives on these issues. Lis­ten­ing more and wait­ing for com­pli­cat­ed answers seems essen­tial in my opinion.

Anoth­er good deep-dive for Friends inter­est­ed in this is Bet­sy Caz­den’s Friends Jour­nal 2006 arti­cle, Quak­er Mon­ey, Old Mon­ey, and White Priv­i­lege. It’s one I turn to every so often to remind myself of some of our monied Quak­er norms. Johan gives a pass to William Penn but I think it’s impor­tant to remem­ber that his colo­nial ambi­tions were deeply enmeshed in at least three dif­fer­ent wars and con­ve­nient­ly served the polit­i­cal cal­cu­la­tions of two empires, the per­fect storm of an oppor­tu­ni­ty for a group of paci­fist idealists.

https://​blog​.canyoube​lieve​.me/​2​0​1​8​/​1​1​/​q​u​a​k​e​r​s​-​a​n​d​-​n​a​t​i​v​e​-​a​m​e​r​i​c​a​n​s​-​i​t​s​.​h​tml