Finding the Sweet Harmony in Friends Worship

August 5, 2026

I interview John Helding on the Quaker Talk podcast about “worship fluid” Quakerism.

The new issue of Friends Jour­nal is up. I wrote the Among Friends intro this month, wax­ing lyri­cal­ly on the “son­ic land­scape” of my meet­ing in August:

The sounds of our August silence are far from pure. Although the calls of red-shouldered hawks can be a bit harsh, hear­ing them reminds me that a fam­i­ly shares the trees of our bur­ial ground. The crunch of the grav­el in the dri­ve­way reas­sures me that one of our per­pet­u­al late-comers is about to join our fel­low­ship. Not all the sounds are nat­ur­al, of course. Once or twice in the hour some­one will red­line a motor­cy­cle on the street out­side, the whiny revs and gear changes drift­ing over to bounce inside our wor­ship space. I usu­al­ly try to tune out this sound, but some­times I smile instead, know­ing that some­one is hav­ing fun on a hot sum­mer day. I say a lit­tle prayer for their safe­ty and wish them well.

I’ve also record­ed a new episode of my author video pod­cast with John Held­ing, who wrote How Can I Keep from Singing? The Mar­velous Mys­tery of Worship-Fluid Meet­ings. He tells a great sto­ry of going from a very died-in-the wool unpro­grammed meet­ing to Lopez Island Wor­ship Group (now full Quak­er meet­ing) that sched­uled month­ly singing wor­ship and wor­ship shar­ing. I think I’m always going to pre­fer the mod­el of sit­ting down qui­et­ly and wait­ing for the Holy Spir­it but I do appre­ci­ate that it’s hard to build up a meet­ing cul­ture that invites min­istry. I’m hap­py that the wor­ship shar­ing at Lopez Island helped uncork nascent min­istry in the stan­dard, open worship. 

As I wrote a few years ago, I think min­istry should be an expect­ed mir­a­cle and not have quite so high a bar that peo­ple are intim­i­dat­ed from speak­ing. It takes prac­tice to know when min­istry is Spirit-led and maybe part of that prac­tice is not always get­ting it right. I know some meet­ings face the oppo­site prob­lem: min­istry that is per­haps too fre­quent and too head­strong and inap­pro­pri­ate. But a Friends Meet­ing is a bit like a choir in that it is always need­ing cre­ative rene­go­ti­a­tion to find the sweet har­mo­ny. We are a cho­sen fam­i­ly that just shows up every week, with peo­ple expe­ri­enced and new work­ing and learn­ing how to hold the body together.

Becky Jones: Connecting Spirit to Spirit

December 19, 2025

I talked today with Decem­ber Friends Jour­nal author Becky Jones. Her arti­cle “The Inti­ma­cy of Prayer” appears in the cur­rent issue. I real­ly appre­ci­at­ed talk­ing about how we hold peo­ple in love, in the light, in prayer. One of my own meth­ods is just to keep a prayer list on my phone but in prep­ping this inter­view I real­ized I had­n’t con­tributed to it in a year. Wow! If for noth­ing else, I’m grate­ful to be remind­ed that I should use that list more, as it keeps me more mind­ful of loved ones and acquain­tances in my life.

Full show notes for my inter­view can be found here.

Disappointment, frustration, and betrayal

March 8, 2019

From Johan Maurer:

What choic­es do we have? The most obvi­ous and most glib answer is: leave! Escape! In fact, after prayer and con­sul­ta­tion and weigh­ing options, that may end up being the best answer. 

This seems like a very ground­ed look at some of the oft-recurrent dys­func­tions in church­es. Check out the list of prob­lems. I sus­pect thet most seek­ers have run into at least a fee of these in congregations.

https://​blog​.canyoube​lieve​.me/​2​0​1​9​/​0​3​/​t​r​u​s​t​w​o​r​t​h​y​-​p​a​r​t​-​t​h​r​e​e​-​c​h​o​i​c​e​s​.​h​tml

None of us is a volunteer

April 5, 2018

Sam Barnett-Cormack is a pro­lif­ic non-theist British Friend. His lat­est post, Doing It Our­selves, has some thoughts on com­mu­ni­ty dis­cern­ment that I find interesting.

Quak­erism “done right” is not “do it your­self” in either sense… No task is done by one per­son alone; it is always the work and respon­si­bil­i­ty of the com­mu­ni­ty, though we might not always clear­ly see the sup­port and assis­tance we are giv­en. Some would say that we are “upheld in prayer,” a term that does not speak to my expe­ri­ence, but we are cer­tain­ly upheld by the love and nur­ture of our com­mu­ni­ty – unless our com­mu­ni­ty is failing.

March 28, 2018

When we say we are hold­ing some­one in the Light, it is wise to remem­ber that hold­ing is an action verb. Some­times I con­fuse inter­ces­sion prayer with plac­ing a short order to a Spir­it I treat as a per­son­al com­plaint depart­ment. “You didn’t get my order right, God…she’s even sick­er than before!” I love the way Quak­er teach­ings hum­ble me and help me work with love while wait­ing expec­tant­ly for God’s will to be done.

— Bon­nie S.  in a recent comment

Cornerstone Fellowship

July 28, 2009

Cornerstone FellowshipCor­ner­stone is a rel­a­tive­ly new church plant in Smithville, Atlantic Coun­ty, New Jer­sey. They’re site is a sim­ple design built in Mov­able Type using off-the-shelf tem­plates to keep the bud­get down. The most excit­ing part of the site is the pod­cast ser­mons and the abil­i­ty to ask Bible ques­tions and make prayer requests from the home­page. I’m most hap­py to see the church using the site and updat­ing it regularly!

Pas­tor Fred Schwenger also has a new local con­nec­tion: he and a part­ner have just opened Supe­ri­or Auto­mo­tive here in Ham­mon­ton at 880 S White Horse Pike! 

Vis­it: Cor​ner​stone​Fel​low​shipOn​line​.com

Call off the search parties

March 10, 2007

The retreat at the Carmelite Monastery was nice. Here’s some pic­tures, the first of those “long-remembered”:/if_i_dont_make_it_back.php tall stone walls and the rest of the beau­ti­ful chapel:
Carmelite Monastery, Philadelphia Carmelite Monastery, Philadelphia Carmelite Monastery, Philadelphia Carmelite Monastery, Philadelphia
It was a silent retreat – for us at least. There were three talks about “Tere­sa of Avila”:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teresa_of_Avila giv­en by Father Tim Byer­ley, who also works with the “Col­legium Center”:http://www.collegiumcenter.org/about.php, a kind of reli­gious edu­ca­tion out­reach project for young adult Catholics in South Jer­sey (I men­tioned it “a few months ago”:https://www.quakerranter.org/teaching_quakerism_again.php as a mod­el of young adult youth out­reach that Friends might want to con­sid­er). Much of what Tere­sa has to say about prayer is uni­ver­sal and very applic­a­ble to Friends, though I have to admit I start­ed spac­ing out by around the fourth man­sion of the “Inte­ri­or Castle”:http://www.ccel.org/ccel/teresa/castle2.toc.html (I’ve nev­er been good with num­bered reli­gious steps!).
I’m in no dan­ger of fol­low­ing my wife Julie’s jour­ney from Friends to Catholi­cism, though as always I very much enjoyed being in the midst of a gath­ered group com­mit­ted to a spir­i­tu­al­i­ty. The idea of reli­gious life as self-abnegation is an impor­tant one for all Chris­tians in an age where “me-ism”:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ScWdek6_Ids&eurl has become the “sec­u­lar state religion”:http://www.walmart.com/ and I hope to return to it in the near future.